Sarcastic Mystery Puzzle Time

I approach the Apple Store genius bar, balls shrinking from the 33924 watt air conditioning system. The genius is named Trent. Actually, I can’t remember his name but he reminds me of Trent from Daria. Discs in his ears, product in his hair, and …is that an ankh tattoo-ed on his forearm?

Dialogue -
Trent: So what’s wrong with your phone?
Rose: It just won’t turn on. I did all the troubleshooting steps online..
Trent, looking up my phone’s port-hole: The fluid indicator in here changed color, so your phone must have gotten wet.
Rose: Oh, weird! I guess it has been raining a lot lately? I definitely did NOT wade through a river in Western Mass with my friends Carmella, Rachel and Destry with my phone in a little sack, fall over twice, help Carmella rescue Destry from an untimely death, but only after taking both the cider wine (which we were drinking only minutes earlier) and Destry’s shoes safely to shore.
Trent: …okay, I’ll set you up with a new phone.

Guess which sentence I omitted from the actual conversation?

In totally unrelated news, I had a great weekend full of hiking, swimming, farming, pizza-making, vegetables, roofs, ice cream, friends and sunshine.

Music tips from Questionable Content

Jeph Jacques (whose Northhampton-based hipstodrama webcomic I shamefully read) is right, the new Bon Iver album IS really good (you can stream it on NPR). I feel like he's stepping into the void left behind by Sufjan Stevens when he wandered off the reservation and made Age of Adz, which makes me feel anxious and weird, kind of like watching Tron, Brazil, and Clockwork Orange on three different screens in a room filled with pink marshmallows that have been microwaved for 30 seconds.
Yuck. Plus, you can't go wrong with songs named after cities. Perth is actually the name of my computer, because all computers, bikes, and massive data sets should have names, don't you agree?

Thematically related but technically unrelated picture of the day is a still-shot of Pina Bausch, late international dance genius, in Nelken (Carnations)

Miss America in the Sunshine

Still searching for the best route to work.
Recently returned from a meeting in Connecticut, where the words of the day were either "satoyama" or "traditional New England". Loads of plant pictures for you. Here are the choicest.

Corpse flower (get this...amorphophallus titanum)

belly of the beast

Pitcher plant flower

I'm starting to think that maybe I need a camera that isn't also my cell phone. Then again, I'm so nearly blind that I don't appreciate excellent picture quality too much, as my own reality has such terrible picture quality. Why should my photos be better than my life?

The Womb of Harlow

I'm qualified.

Decompressed with a weekend at Megan's farm, complete with Carmella, Destry, Rachel, Megastar and her parents, and caboodles of poodles.
Jumped in the lake, rambled the farm, munched the greens, watched a locavore doc and panel featuring Pauline (Momma Harlow). Created feasts. Slept in a nest.

I'm filled with nutrition, balm, conversation, and inky ambitions for the sole of my foot.

O victory forget your underwear we're free

I watched Howl: the movie, finally, this weekend. Sometimes the animations felt tacky, like too many styles mixed together, but at other times I liked them. At any rate, having James Franco read the entire fucking thing over the course of two hours was well worth my animal soup.

Also reminded me of Bill's thesis (Howl) and my thesis (Howl): Parts I-IV. Don't know if I ever put any of these photos up anywhere, but here are a few.

Holy

For Carl Solomon

Moloch

She Likes It

Rockland

Fig newtons, soup, raw fish

Eat it, written exam.

Also, hi life! I can see you in the distance, closer than real life, further away than a life.

I finished this 12 hour marathon and went into my office, where there was a massive plastic toad on my desk with a post-it note stuck to it that said, "How was it?" I then immediately called Rachel on the phone (henceforth, cancer stick!) and went and sat on a random curb in Kenmore and tried not to sound like I was going bats. I then purchased some raw fish and ate it. And then I watched some Parks and Recreation, and now I will sleep until I wake up naturally (but with my blinds closed, because with my blinds open I naturally wake up at motherfucking 5:45am. Who DOES that?)

Typing feels weird. My hands feel weird typing. Lots of typing today. I hope my written exam is more coherent than this.

Ok, bye!